Unintelligencer

Unintelligencer
this be a fuunee translatr tyhat maek ewe soun dumber thna yuo be. dis text wuz created using tehz unintelligencer. mai favs pt abowt da site are thee image uv th' dumb guy oan tha top ov teh page. itz is a incredable pikchur.

Kindergarten Joys

Second graders have learned a little bit about social cues--like when to say things and when not to say things. Kindergarteners, on the other hand, have little social inhibitions. One example today:

Madison: "You look like you're going to have a baby, Mrs. Rowberry!"

Hmm...good thing I am having a baby. Otherwise I would feel pretty bad about myself today! I am already showing pretty good, so I should probably tell my kids so I don't have more comments like that (at least without them knowing I am pregnant!).

David Hasselhoff Social Network and Chuck Norris Facts

David Hasselhoff Social Network
Yep, that is real. There is some funny stuff going on here. As I kept surfing for insanity online, I also found some great Chuck Norris facts. Here are some good ones.

• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.


• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.


• There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  
  
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  
  
• Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
  
  
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  
  
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  
  
• Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
  
  
• Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
  
  
• Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Not sure why these are so funny, but seriously, they are absolute truth.

Fantastic Contraption: A fun online physics puzzle game

Fantastic Contraption: A fun online physics puzzle game
This game is incredibly addictive!

Ice Cream Cam!

In this video, we feed Elinor a chocolate popsicle in front of the camera. It is pretty funny!

Worldly Steak

So there it is not quite the virgin Mary, but check out these two steaks. Don't they look strangely like Australia (left) and Africa (right)? They were dang good too. Maybe they were voodoo steaks... someone should check to see if Africa still exists.

Last week I woke up at midnight and ate some Top Ramen. I know everyone hates Top Ramen, but I've always loved it. And it was tasty. I haven't had a good night of sleep for a long time. I wake up at least 3 times a night to go to the bathroom. Seriously. I should buy stock in Jamba Juice. Jamba Juice has been SO good lately. I can't take a hot shower anymore. It has to be luke-warm and I frequently stick my head out of the curtain to catch my breath. The other day I actually took my entire shower sitting down. Can I tell you how good lime popsicles are? I love them. I am making friends with bathrooms and know where they are anywhere I go. Food usually sounds repulsive. I can no longer eat hot dogs. I have cried at silly things lately. Like episodes of Friends, when Farid kissed Meggie in Inskpell, when Elinor pulled everything out of the entertainment center for the 3rd time in one day, when my phone wouldn't charge, I'm pretty sure I even cried while watching Judge Judy one day. I'm not sure whether I'm more embarrassed to admit I cried while watching it or that I actually watched it. I am a new level of exhausted. Like I don't want to get off the couch. Like I cry when I have to get up early. Like no matter how long I sleep at night it doesn't make a difference. What can all this mean?






In the words of my friend Anne,
"I'm growing a person in my uterus."